Deodorant Drives Me Crazy

The older I get more I crave a simple life. I find myself doing things that I never thought I would do...all in the quest to live a more pared down/less complicated life....excising complicated friends....de-cluttering my house, my life, my thinking and my approach to every day. It is not as easy to do as you think...uncomplicating your life is complicated. Take deodorant. You know... underarm deodorant. We use it every day. I have a huge struggle with deodorant...or should I say, I have a huge struggle with purchasing underarm deodorant. So imagine....here I am going through my paces, trying hard to have a simple uncomplicated day...and then...I swing into the store to pick up some deodorant...just plain old simple deodorant. Think I can find plain old simple deodorant? No. I turn the corner and land at the top of the deodorant isle. When did deodorant get its own isle?
Acca Kappa, Acqua Di Parma, Aigner, Alba, Alfred Dunhill, Alfred Sung, Alvera, Angel, Anna Sui, Annemarie Borlind, Anthony Logistics, Antonio Puig, Aquolina, Aramis, Arrid, Aubrey, Avalon Organics, Avon, AXE, Azzaro...and those, my friend, are just the "A"'s...as a matter of fact....I have actually counted the number of deodorant brands out there.....201. There are 201 different brands of deodorant. Now,the average brand will have about 30 different types of deodorant....24/7 Sweat Protection, Stain Free, Natural. Take Secret deodorant. It is the #1 woman's brand...not because it's good, but because it had over 30 different kinds of deodorant for you to pick from. and here they are: Light and Fresh, Clinical Strength, Powder Protection, Scent Expressions Platinum, Clear Gel Protection, Platinum Protection Soft Solid, Clinical Strength Deodorant Light & Fresh Scent, Secret Platinum Antiperspirant Clear Gel Southern Peach,Secret Invisible Solid Powder Fresh Scent, Scent Expressions Anti-Perspirant /Deodorant, Roll-On, Wild Jasmine, Clinical Strength Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant Sport Marathon Fresh Scent, Scent Expressions Anti-Perspirant Deodorant Crystal Clear Gel, Platinum Protection Soft Solid Antiperspirant & Deodorant, Spring.Fresh, Scent Expressions Platinum Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant, Clear Gel, Arctic Fresh, Scent Expressions Invisible Solid Anti-Perspirant Deodorant, Bella Bloom, Scent Expressions Deodorant Coco Butter Kiss, Scent Expressions Anti-Perspirant Deodorant Crystal Clear Gel, Pretty N Peach, Scent Expressions Crystal Clear Gel Anti-Perspirant Deodorant, Ooh-La-La Lavender....aaaaargh...I give up. But I'll leave you with my personal favorite....Clinical Strength Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant Waterproof All-Day....I mean isn't antiperspirant supposed to be waterproof? For the record I do not want to smell like fresh rain mango sunrise...what does a mango sunrise smell like, anyway? Isn't the idea of deodorant to eliminate smells?
Well I have gone a few days "deodorant free" and so far have not offended anyone...that I know of. But today is the day. I am already mentally preparing myself for the trip to the drug store to buy my deodorant. In all honesty I am starting to get grumpy just thinking about the row upon row upon row of deodorants and antiperspirants I will have to wade through until I find a simple, uncomplicated deodorant. If you see me and I smell like lavender vanilla rainforest blast, you'll know I failed miserably.